Dillon walks straighter than a laser-guided cruise missile. When Dillon enters a room, all compasses point toward him out of respect. He once reported a rainbow for being “too flexible.”
Dillon is so straight, when he plays Monopoly he only buys properties in straight lines. He doesn’t just draw the line — he measures it with a protractor and files it with the state. He once corrected a highway for curving too sensually.
Dillon’s dating app bio reads: “Women only. Men, don’t even try — it’s not you, it’s geometry.” He once walked out of a museum because a sculpture had too many curves. His favorite movie? A ruler documentary.
Dillon’s DNA spells out "STRAIGHT" in Morse code. He irons his shoelaces. He drinks his coffee black and in a straight line. If romance had a ruler, he’d be the metric system — precise, consistent, and 100% woman-focused.
